Why I am not Perfect

So in doing my grad apps, I have discovered that, no: contrary to popular opinion, I am not perfect! It's shocking, I know, but here are just a few reasons why it is true.

10. I am interested in way too many topics. Grad schools want focus and depth of knowledge within that focus; I'm more about great breadth and shallowness.
9. I am cheesy and rely too heavily on cliches. "What's in a name?" I'll tell you what: pure drivel.
8. I only survived the last round of college applications by smoking heavily. Now that I don't smoke, I have nothing to do but pace anxiously and drink lots of coffee.
7. I have confidence when I shouldn't have confidence, and have no confidence when I should have confidence.
6. When I write, I assume my audience is at a 6th grade level. Doubt the Ph.D.'s looking over my personal statement will appreciate that.
5. When I try writing about my experiences travelling, it just sounds like I am writing about them to get brownie points. Which, I can't deny it, is a little bit of why I am doing it, but only a little bit!
4. I really have no idea why I want to be a Ph.D. except for the fact that I am clearly not fit for anything else.
3. It's so easy to use "race," "gender" and "democracy" without actually defining your terms. Darnit, they just sound pretty, don't they?
2. What I want to be doing right now: learning Japanese, travelling in Japan, and losing some extra poundage. What I am doing: graduate school applications. And sleeping.
1. I am a perfectionist, and it takes me hours to change the first paragraph of my personal statement, then move on to the second paragraph, then go back to the first paragraph, then back to the second, then back to the first...and on and on, boats against the currents, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

0. I'm a plaigirist, see above.

Hanging in Nikko and Japanese fashion don'ts

Ah, just got back from a lovely weekend in Nikko, a beautiful town in Tochigi prefecture (the next prefecture over) which is the home of beautiful traditional Japanese shrines, gates and gardens. I met up with Stephen, a funny, very "Anthony Hopkins in The Remains of the Day if he had a sense of humor" British guy I met during the rice harvesting weekend, and his friends (who were boring as hell!). Together we traipsed around Nikko sampling the yaki-tori chicken (chicken on a stick, for the unenlightened, and my favorite meal!), walking up a lot and I mean a lot of stairs, and being awed by the beautiful woodwork that decorated the many shrines we saw.

(I'll try to give a summary of how I spent my day not too specifically, no more novel-length entries!) We had to walk through a huge Japanese-style gate to enter the shrine area. The shrines are covered with elaborate carvings of animals and flowers and fantastic creatures of the imagination, and their roofs slightly slant up, as if they were about to fly away to God. I had to take my shoes off at the entrance, and once I walked in you can see a prayer section with tatami (where Shinto followers kneal and pray) and, in the front, a little altar with Shinto ornaments and incense burning. Many shrines are only accessible by climbing at least a hundred deep steps - this is definitely not a tourist spot for my parents! Many of the shrines sold rice paper fortunes and good luck charms for practically everything (Jenny, there was a charm for safe driving, and I thought of you!) I even found out that I was born in the year of the monkey - who'd have thunk? The best part of seeing the shrines was the weather - it was overcast and a little dark and foggy, endowing the shrines with an air of mystery and spirituality that I don't think would be as evident in the blinding glare of sunlight. In the moist, rainy fog, you could almost believe that here lay spirits of the dead or that, in the enormous, ancient trees that surrounded us, fantastic creatures of the forest were at play. Our last stop was at a lovely Japanese garden, built around a man-made lake: it was so sculpted, so exquisite down to every little detail. I sat on the rocks near the water and just took it all in for about fifteen minutes: the gigantic catfish that swam by my feet, the blazing red leaves of the tree across the way, and the lush green moss that covered practically everything. Japanese people sure know to create beautiful gardens, and this was no exception.

After "shrining," as I like to call it, Stephen and I went shopping for gifts - and lets just say that a certain sister is going to be mighty suprised come birthday time. We passed through antique shops, omiyage shops, and one shop that sold a random assortment of everything, from old dishes to ships to plastic kewpie dolls. Finally we took the train back, and I had British pudding for the first time! It was good, but certainly not good enough to replace ice cream.

So, another purpose of this entry was to chronicle my increasing hatred of Japanese ladies fashion. Now some people can dress well here - my friends, for instance - but the large majority of Japanese women dress like American women dressed in the eighties. And American women looked HORRIBLE in the eighties, lest we forget. I am the least concerned with fashion of anyone I know, but even I am annoyed with these crazy trends. I mean, Japanese women are gorgeous - they don't have to try so hard! So, in case you were wondering, the ten reasons I hate Japanese fashion:

10. Sequins. On everything.
9. Spangles. Ibid.
8. Belts that NEVER go with the outfit and are always way too oversized on these tiny Japanese women.
7. The same goes for these huge, billowy shirts that make typical Japanese women look like they are wearing potato sacks.
6. Mixing and matching of colors that isn't artsy or fashionable (think Gwen Stefani, in a red skirt and light blue shirt that somehow made sense) but just cluttered. I'm talking about black, emerald green, camel, white, light blue and dark brown - all in one outfit!
5. Cheesy, cheap looking, high-heeled boots. Now I am all for long leather boots, but these are ruffled, strappy, and straight out of "Gem and the Holograms."
4. Wearing said boots with opaque stockings. That don't match.
3. The bits of colored lace that somehow show up on everything from shirts to pants to jeans to handbags. Ugh.
2. Wearing long shorts or cut-off pants that end somewhere between two inches above the knee and five inches above the knee, often in hideous shades (emerald green, anyone), often worn with stockings that don't match, and mostly worn with LONG CHEESY BOOTS. The culmination of bad taste.
1. Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny (did I mention tiny?) skirts. These things barely could be called a mini-skirt in America. They make women with lovely bodies look dumpy and cheap, and are often grotesquely mangled with said spangles and sequins (see above). Now I know you guys are thinking, hey, there's no such thing as a skirt that is too tiny! Well, yes there is: when the meat is in the freezer, it stays cool and delicious; when its left out on the counter, it gets bad quick. Now write a ten page paper on why that comment makes sense.

The Ballad of Bobby Valentine

So, as some of you may remember, Bobby Valentine was the coach for the New York Mets for quite some time, through the good times (ah, the world series!) and the bad times (every season after the world series). I loved him for his oh-so-unique slouch, his really stupid-sounding voice, his cute little face, the way he never smiled until his game was won. Andd then the damn Mets fired him. It was the first misstep in a long line of missteps. But I always missed my Bobby; I wondered, where is he now, what is he doing: is he single?

Well, as I watching the fourth game of the Japanese world series tonight, in which the Marines were leading the Tigers by three games to zero, suddenly I see it...the Valentine slouch...

Insert lush instrementals here: "I've grown accustomed to your slouch/ It almost makes the day begin..."

Turns out that before the Mets, Valentine coached a Japanese team, and when he left the Mets, he came back to Japan. So, in a lovely twist of fate, I was able to watch my favorite baseball coach of all time hunch over like Quasimodo and make all the weird faces that I remember so well. The Marines won, and there was even a closeup on a solitary tear that ran down his cheek (this was their first World Series win in 31 years). Plus he made a speech! It couldn't have been much better (well, unless he took his moment in the spotlight to declare that I was his one and only inspiration).

Dinner at Tomomi's: 200 yen
The value of the gas used to drive to her house and back: 100 yen.
Seeing my adorable little Bobby Valentine: PRICELESS.

My thoughts are with him. On a side note, nudity in Kusatsu

Although its still two months away, I decided to start planning this week for my 1 year anniversary with Gary. Although I will be here on our actual anniversary (December 8), we wanted to celebrate it when I got home...so, because we have a special affinity for Niagara-on-the-lake, I decided to make reservations at a lovely Bed and Breakfast there, with a fireplace and jacuzzi (the only thing not included is a five-piece ensemble to play Tchaikofsky). I am so excited - for the first time in maybe six months, we will have some time together this December to just focus on us and not worry about me leaving within the week or graduate school applications or schoolwork. I miss him so much - during the day I am busy and focused on life here, but nighttime always makes me remember just how lucky I am to be with such a wonderful person who is so perfect for me. Its never easy to be in a long distance relationship, but knowing that I will be with him for three weeks (December 15 to January 6!) is keeping me going through all the rough patches and long, lonely nights without him.

As for nudity, no it does not involve Gary (please, people, this blog is for my family, get your minds out of the gutter!). On Saturday morning, my friend Tomomi and I woke up bright and early to go to Kusatsu, the most famous onsen town in Gunma (and perhaps all of Japan). On our way there, we stopped at a beautiful valley next to the mountain road to get a look at all of the beautiful fall colors (not as vivid as they will be, but still lovely!). Unfortunately, the place where we stopped will soon be flooded by a dam to provide more water drainage for Tokyo - Tomomi said that the people who live there have been fighting the government for years for the right to save their home, but unfortunately the government (and Tokyo) won. What a suprise - a large, politically powerful city has the right to flood a beautiful mountain area just so that it can save itself some damage in case of a flood. Who'd'a thunk?

When we arrived at Kusatsu, we walked to the center of town, where the water is collected from the mountains and mixed with sulfur in these metal containers, then flows to each of the surrounding onsens.



The center of town - touristy but the whitish blue radiance of the water rushing through the city is unbelievable.

The first onsen we went to had five pools at different temperatures. You start out in the 40 degree pool (celsius, obviously) and go from there to a 46 degree pool, a 42 degree pool, etc, each for one minute. Supposably this is good for sustaining your body's equillibrium. I guess my equillibrium is none the better for trying, because there was no way I could go into the 46 and 47 degree pools - they were scorching, like dipping your legs into hot lava. After this, we went into another section of the onsen, where there was an outdoor onsen surrounded by leaves of changing colors and stones dyed green by the sulfuric water. It was so lovely - the contrast of the cool 60 something degree air with the hot, steamy water was enough to make even the prudest of prudes a self proclaimed nudist.

After this, we went to lunch at a cheap Italian restaurant (more on that later) and then went to another onsen, which was even prettier than the first and larger. It was an outdoor onsen, where onlookers could look into the male side by crossing a bridge next to the onsen. As Tomomi and I walked across the bridge (we merely did it for the purposes of edification, nothing else) we saw lines of people - old, young, male, female - walking, giggling and ogling the naked butts of some fit (and not so fit) men as they lounged about. One of the first examples of open sexuality that I have seen here, quite refreshing. After our ogle, we went to the female side of the onsen, which was truly the nicest onsen that I have ever been to - only a stone waterfall seperated you from mountains of vivid orange, red and yellow autumn leaves. Tomomi and I relaxed on a stone bed in the middle of the onsen and people-watched politely (well, as politely as you can when you are surrounded by lots of naked women). It was about as relaxing and refreshing a time as I have ever had.



While this isn't the exact onsen I went to (mine was a lot bigger and a bit nicer) it gives you an idea of how close to nature we really were

Unfortunately, after about an hour of onsening, I suddenly felt really sick and was laid up in the bathroom for about 45 minutes. Turns out that you really shouldn"t buy pizza in Kusatsu, especially at a place called the Italian Tomato Cafe, Jr. Bad idea. Bad. Horrible. Haaaa-rrrrible. Won't make that mistake again. However, I shortly recovered and spent the rest of the day scouting gifts for my parents and friends, eating chicken on a stick, and buying dried kiwi (delicious!) Tomomi and I ate a nice dinner at a little restaurant in Yoshioka called Cafe Tetto. I had honey toast, which is a block of toast with butter and honey - not exactly the healthiest meal but about as close to french toast as I will ever get in this country. We talked for hours about Yoshi, Gary and falling in love - she is really an amazing friend, so much fun to talk to. Plus, I chose a Japanese karaoke song by the 1000 something, I can't remember the name, called "Everybody hustle" and including the word "yummy" repeated over and over again. Perfect.

Today is cleaning and working on grad school apps time. Hopefully, some pics will be up soon for my rice harvesting weekend and my time in Kusatsu.

Is that maturity in your eyes, or are you just getting old?

In all the ruckus and craziness of being in Japan and experiencing new types of disgusting brown Japanese vegetables and learning that "wakarimasen" is the most valuable phrase to know and adopting a kitty that is just as annoying and whiny as my kitty back home, there's one serious matter that I haven't covered in this blog. I am getting old. Haha, you laugh, you're only 25 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you, blobbity blah blah blah. But the fact, dear reader, is that I am now closer to 30 then I am to 20, and I've come to the point where I am now so apparently legal to drink that I haven't been carded in the last three to four years.

But I guess its not the physicality of age that scares me as much as the emotional changes it brings. Three years ago, I would have been happy backpacking around the world without any cares or emotional ties to weigh me down. I went from place to place, interest to interest, dream to dream, like a feather on the breath of God (Sigrid Nunez wrote that, but it seems so applicable here). And then I realized that I wanted to be a college English teacher. And then I met Gary. And then I started, slowly but surely, enjoying the feel of having an apartment of my own, a space of my own, things of my own: to come home at night and sit in the couch that was my couch, to scruff the neck of the cat that was my cat, to drive the streets that were my streets. I created my own geography, and for the first time it didn't feel limited or dull, a space to escape when the right time came. It became home.

So over the last few weeks, I have been having conversations with a lot of people - other ALTs, Nini, Gary, my parents - about how this is affecting me here in Japan. It is hard to be here knowing that in a year I will have to leave this little home I am creating out of bits of random furniture and narrow, unnamed streets and a smattering of expats from all over the world. There is a part of me that wants to start my life - the one in which I am settled down somewhere, hopefully with Gary, hopefully at a graduate school in a lovely, borgeois (yes, I admit it!) community. That part of me tends to find Japan difficult to stomach, sometimes impossible to understand, because it is not "Life," capital L - the "Life" of careers and mortgages and published books and even, down the road, marriage and children. It is something completely unique, a different kind of life altogether.

So, I guess the whole point of this perhaps long-winded blog is that sometimes I feel schizophrenic - I am here, and I am there; I am there, and I am here; maybe I am here, and I don't even have an idea of where my concept of "there" is located anymore; maybe I am there, and my understand of "here" is ultimately biased in consequence.

Either way, this blog entry will end. I've already confused you enough. But either a. I am getting more mature, or b. I am just slowly becoming more and more of a windbag. I'd put my money behind c. Both.

A new family, a new experience...and a new outlook

Just got back home from the 10th Annual Rice Harvesting homestay in Tochigi prefecture (to the east of us) and it was amazing. Here's a breakdown of what happened:

Friday: Took one of my students to the prefectural speech contest (she didn't win, but she did really well, and I was able to make her laugh by gifting her with a special Debbie trophy: my empty water bottle) and left from there for Tochigi. Another ALT, Courtney, and I took the two and a half hour train ride to Ujiie, where Yassan (the Japanese organizer of the event) picked us up and took us to our homestay houses. I was dropped off at this beautiful house in real innaka (wilderness), surrounded by bamboo trees, lush greenery and tended fields. I walk in, and it is the single nicest house I have seen in Japan - the walls are of this beautiful blonde wood, and the floor has mahogany steps and beautiful lighting that is actually not florescent, the horrid lighting of choice in Japan. Turns out that I was staying with the Hirayama family, which included: Chooichi (the father), Sachiko (the mother), Takaaki (the 14 year old son), Kaori (the 10 year old daughter), Kanae (the 7 year old daughter), and Mie (Chooichi's mother). They spoke very little English, and we relied heavily on Takaaki's English/Japanese dictionary to get us through the night. My friend Gemma had stayed with them on other rice harvesting trips, and they seemed a little confused as to why she was not there - they took out her application form and showed me pictures of her with the family. I felt a little like I was imposing on them - the two girls looked at me like I was an alien, the boy treated me like an extra English assignment, and the parents seemed quite powerless in the face of my scanty knowledge of Japanese. However, the kotatsu (heating table: there is a heater underneath it where you put your legs) was warm and comfortable, the Asahi beer was cold, and my room was beautiful - a comfy futon, hand painted Japanese screens, and a small Buddhist shrine.

Saturday: Little Kanae started to warm up to me, and after a good Japanese breakfast of coleslaw, rice, cucumbers, and miso soup (which I could not eat with chopstics - the mushrooms kept slipping out of my grasp!) she held my hand as we went to the harvest. The harvest itself was short but sweet - I, about 20 other ALTs, and a lot of Japanese volunteers used scythes to cut the bottom of the rice plants in a circular motion. I hate to sound like Robert Frost, but cutting rice with a scythe was a really wonderful experience - the smell of wet grass, the feel of the scythe in my hands as the rice plants bent and then broke from the ground. Of course, for the last 30 years rice has been harvested with machines, but they teach us to do it with scythes for the experience. Then we took the bushels of rice plants that we cut and hung them on long wooden poles to dry out. My friend took pictures, and as soon as she e-mails me them, they'll be posted here.

After this, we all went into a large tent and, along with many Japanese children, painted pumpkins for Halloween. Kaori, Kanae and their friends really warmed up to me during this activity - we had a ton of fun making the ugliest pumpkin in the history of pumpkins. Then we all got together at a long table and learned how to make sushi rolls, which are really easy to make and quite delicious - rice, Japanese vegetables and fish flakes rolled in seaweed. After this, a bunch of people gathered around a woooden pit, and they began to make mochi, very glutinous rice dumplings. First, rice and water were kneaded together, and then we all took turns pounding it with a large wooden hammer - it was really difficult to do, since the hammer was heavy and easily became stuck in the mochi. My huge muscles really paid off! (insert sarcastic laugh here) Then we had a huge feast of soup, sushi rolls, sweet potato treats, rice cakes, apple pie (well, the Japanese version of apple pie) and nashi, these sweet Japanese pears brought by my host family, which farms them. I talked to a lot of great Tochigi ALTs, and one British ALT promised to make me a delicious British meal (in response to my assertion that British food was the worst I had ever tasted from any country - believe me, all travelers know this is true!) and take me around Nokki, a beautiful park in Tochigi. At the end, we received a bag of rice - and a picture of me and three friends holding our scythes was on the front of the bag! A great souvenir of a great experience.

After this, I had tea with some of the Japanese volunteers and Yassan, with whom I talked about how farming rice (and the farming community) has changed in the last thirty years. Farmers used to farm collectively - one day they would all meet up at one farm and harvest, the next day they would meet at another, and each day they'd feast together and drink together. Now, machines do it all, and while this makes the work a lot easier, it also decreases the sense of community - farmers only get together for a celebration at the end of the harvest, and there is more isolation within the farming community.

Then my host mother and I went back to the house, and there I played with Kanae and Kaori for the rest of the night. They were so much fun! When you don't speak the language, young children are so much more fun to be with than older children (who don't really like acting silly) and adults (who just want to carry on conversations with you in a language that you don't understand, which can be frustrating at times). All I had to do was make funny faces at Kanae and Kaori, tickle them, say funny words in Japanese, and teach them American card games, and suddenly I had two best friends who couldn't get enough of me. Here's just some of the fun moments we had together:

10. Teaching them to say "yummy in my tummy" and "you go girl"
9. Tickling Kaori, and, when she looked my way, pointing to Kanae and shrugging my shoulders
8. As they warmed up to me, hearing the two of them spout English at random moments - best of all was when Kanae would suddenly cry "Oh my god" and burst into laughter
7. Since the only Japanese I know can be boiled down to "watashi no tomadatchi" (my friend), we switched it up called each other "watashi no neko" (my cat), "watashi no inu" (my dog)...you get the picture. My favorite: Kanae calling me "watashi no spaghetti." That doesn't need translation.
6. Watching a Japanese TV movie with Kaori and being so enthralled in the tales of good looking Japanese youth that it didn't matter that I had no idea what they were saying.
5. Trying on funny hats in the department store.
4. Teaching them to do the Heffron dance (for those of you who are unfamiliar with this gem, lets just say that its the silliest dance I have ever seen. They, of course, loved it.)
3. Having Kaori hold my arm and look at all my birthmarks with the same sense of wonder as if they were blue with purple polka dots.
2. Walking around with two little girls hanging off my arms, my legs, my waist, anything they could get their hands on.
1. Teaching them to play "Go Fish." This was the real winner of the weekend - Kanae and Kaori loved this game so much they made me play it over and over with them, and each time they said "Go Fish" I taught them to make a fishing motion and say it in weird, silly voices. Chooichi, Sachiko, and Mie just watched us and laughed every time the girls would shout out "No 9. Go Fish!"

Being with little children was so much fun, and I felt like I taught them more English in one weekend than I have taught in the last two and a half months. Plus I learned some more Japanese just by having them teach me as we played. Children are so wonderful and loving and open - they love to touch and hug and laugh, no matter who with, no matter what race or religion. I swear, little children put all other humans to shame.

We had a huge dinner of sushi, and Yassan sent me over a bottle of homemade sake (I had mentioned that I had never drank sake, and being the sweet guy that he was, he gave me a bottle!). It was a lovely day and a lovely night - one of the best since I have been here.

Sunday: I woke up at 8:00, and my host mother had prepared me a delicious American breakfast of toast, eggs and ham - I felt a little bad, since I hope she didn't think I had not liked yesterday's Japanese breakfast, but I was glad to not have to eat sushi for breakfast like the rest of the family. Then we went to a little park with some traditional Japanese houses that were more than 150 years old - with grass roofs and old cushions made of rice plants. The proprieter there made me tea and gave me ume (this sweet and sour fruit), and then we walked up to a large park where there is a tower to get a view of the entire town (and we played on the playground, I am one mean swinger when I set my mind on it). We went to a restaurant for lunch, and then, laden with two pumpkins from Yassan, two nashi from my family, and three bags of rice with my lovely mug on them, I set back for home, tired as hell but really happy.

On a different note: as for the new outlook of said blog title - that wasn't completely from the rice harvest (I wish it was!). One of my professors e-mailed me his comments on my personal statement - and made it clear that I would have to bullshit my academic interests to make them sound "canonical" and "academia-worthy," so to speak. For example, my interests in Carson McCullers, Southern female civil rights writers, crime fiction and Lorenz Hart should be reworked as - interests in Faulkner, Southern fiction, and modernist poetry. Ah, how I love politics and bullshit. Actually, I don't, I hate them, but such is the business, and I better get ready to smile as they torture me over the burning embers of academic canonical snobbery.

Taking the good with the bad

Ah, October - the cool crisp air surrounds you, the leaves turn brazen shades of red and orange right before your eyes (at least in New York they do, although I've been told that the trees in the mountains of Gunma do as well), the ever-impending doom of graduate school looms closer and closer...ok, kidding about the doom part, but unfortunately my applications and all the little things that go along with them have taken up the greater part of my week - I think I did leave the house once, and perhaps I ate a meal or two, but other than that I have been eating, drinking, and breathing the fifteen (count em!) grad schools that I am applying to. It might seem like a large number - but lets hearken back to the good old days, when I applied to seven schools and got rejected from every PhD program. Things are different now, obviously - I am even closer to 30 than I was then - but I am, as Gary calls it, "investing in my future."

However, I have promised myself that I will not completely forget where I am - no more weeklong episodes in my house, eating green tea ice cream and staring blankly at my computer screen. I had earlier made plans to go rice harvesting this weekend (in a really rural part of Japan - me do farmwork? Crazy!) and I am not getting out of it, even though that means I have to finish (aka start) my personal statement tonight, skipping taiko practice to do so. I feel like the next two months are going to be like this - me juggling lessons and friends and applications and everything else in the Japanese mix. The only good thing is that I will never not have something to do - I will always be busy, whether it's learning French (for my language exams!) or doing my damn University of Michigan application (that's more like a novel than an application - the nerve of these damn ivy schools!).

Since working here, I have DEFINITELY realized that I am not cut out to be a teacher of young students - its not that they are not intelligent, and its not that I find teaching them easy - but GOD, it bores the absolute hell out of me to teach beginner's English. Even while I know that my dad was right when he said "if you can't teach it to sixth graders, then you can't teach it to college students," at least you can talk on a relatively higher level...with some college students, that is. The funny thing is, most ALTs like me are also bored by their jobs - but for a completely reason: because they have nothing to do. My teachers are great, they give me tons of work and lessons to plan - but I almost wish they didn't, so I could spend my time reading and researching and at least doing things that interest me! Some junior high teacher I have turned out to be. Well, everyone has their strengths, and playing around with 13 year olds definitely isn't mine. I'll admit it any day: when it comes to work, give me a good adult over a kid any day!

So I probably won't get a chance to write again until after the rice harvesting is done. Till then, sayonara!

It's a girl!

Ok, so some of you know that I am an absolute mush when it comes to cats. Especially brown-striped cats. So there is this stray cat that hangs out around my house, and it is so cute and sweet - but I have never had the heart to get close to it because I know that when I leave, it would be heartbreaking to leave it (especially when it is often very hard to find JETs who are here enough to take care of a cat and not gallivanting around Japan every weekend). But today I saw it, peering at me cautiously from beneath one of the cars in the parking lot, and I had enough. I sat down on the steps and called to it. It slowly pawed up to me and sniffed my fingers, then began to roll around in ecstasy as I rubbed and scratched it (for those of you who are going to remind me that its a dirty stray animal who probably has fleas - use your heart, people!).

Now I have thought about it long and hard today, and there is no way I would want to adopt it as a house cat - that's too much responsibility making sure it doesn't leave the house, plus it wouldn't be a good idea to get it used to house cat luxury when I am leaving and may have to put it back on the streets next May. So I decided that I would feed it and give it fresh water two times a day, in two bowls that are on a step quite far from my front door (so it doesn't come inside my house and make itself at home - then I'd have to adopt it for real). I went out and bought a big bag of food, and as soon as I left it outside the adorable little baby came up and wolfed that bowl up like I have never seen before. I have decided that, in my scientific expertise, she is a girl kitty, with claws and most likely unneutered (I might change that if nothing else, I would hate her to get pregnant and not be able to take care of her babies). I will feed her, give her water, and make sure she is ok - but I am not adopting her (famous last words, I know, but I really don't think I could emotionally handle having to leave yet another cat). I'll be her friend, that's all.

By the way, her name is Lily. She is so thin and delicate, it seemed like the perfect name for a perfect little kitty.

Things I never would have thought possible before tonight

10. Asking Uehara sensei to dance on the table
9. Uehara sensei dancing on the floor by smacking his butt and shaking it all around
8. Uehara sensei falling asleep on the floor five minutes later
7. Realizing that all my teachers really don't speak English, except for the science teacher who said, "Shinjo!" to me and made a thumbs up sign
6. Eating oysters
5. Calling the math teacher "baka nihonjin" (stupid Japanese person) and smacking him on the head (its not mean, many Japanese people call us "baka gaijin" so I returned the favor - people at the table were in tears, they were laughing so hard. And that says a lot for Japanese people.)
4. Making fun of the lack of hair on said Japanese head
3. Getting a free lighter from some random teacher that looks like a keitai, and answering it "mooshy mooshy, debora desu" while eating cheetos
2. Drinking limon o chusho along with beer, then ending with some nice smooth whiskey...ummmm...
1. Sounding like an 80 year old man who's smoked every day of his life....I am still sick with something, so I sound like someone named Velma

Why can't I just be a house wife?

So it's that time of year...time to get rejected from (oh, I mean accepted into) graduate programs all around the world! Unfortunately, while this blog is supposed to be about Japan, for the next two months my life and every free second in it will be devoted to writing personal statements, editing writing samples, gnawing on my arm to dull the pain of exoribtant application fees. I actually had to cancel one of my Japanese classes until next year so that I can devote more time to trying to convince graduate schools that "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me." Still, I will make an attempt to keep you up on my Japanese experiences and not just the little piece of hell that is my personal statement. For your own sake.

I didn't finish my recap of last week, so I will touch on a few fun things that happened. Friday night was my enkai night - enkais are office parties where "co-workers go wild," although there's no video camera running to catch it all. This enkai was a relatively small one, just for the Gunma-Machi Board of Education (only about ten people), and we ate the most delicious food...plus, not only was the sushi savory and the corn pudding thick and rick; the presentation (how the food was laid out) was right out of a 4-star restaurant, with each plate bringing a new array of colors and textures. I'm no gourmander like my father, but it was a really beautiful meal. After my enkai, my friend Gemma and I went to sing karaoke - and let me tell you, my voice was in full form (as exhibited in a heartwarming rendition of "Rapper's Delight") - Gemma and I both share an obsession for singing (saying?) old school rap, so we touched on everyone from Salt and Pepa to Naughty by Nature to Sir Mix a Lot. Needless to say, I am a "ghetto superstar."

On Saturday I was supposed to go hiking at Mt. Tanagawa (which ended up turning into a horrid experience, most people took 12 hours to hike it because they underestimated how hard it was to climb) but instead I stayed home, slept off a tiny hangover, and watched episodes of "24" with some friends. I think I have found a new addiction to replace "Law and Order" - plus I can rent "24" right here in Japan for only 200 yen per video on Tuesdays.

On Monday, out of the blue, I got sick. Nothing serious, but a really, really bad cold - my throat is still absolutely killing me, and its been four days already. It doesn't help that Japanese medicine is about as strong as sweet tarts, so the only think I can take that will even touch it is American Advil (and when was the last time that Advil helped a sore throat?). So pretty much all week I have spent my days at work (besides Wednesday, which I had to take off because I was too sick to go to work) staring straight ahead at nothing in particular and drooling down my chin. Today is the first day I have felt pretty good, and I am still not 100%. Tonight, I am excited to announce, is my first school-wide enkai - tonight is the night all my teachers will humiliate themselves in front of me in many unmentionable ways and then take the weekend to forget it ever happened. I'm not driving - my friend Satchko is taking me so this little girl can have a couple of beers (and Japanese sake!) and forget about her mean, mean throat (and those mean, mean grad apps).

Announcement: Kathy (my best friend in the world) is home in Utica for a week or so, and we actually talked on the phone (for those of you who know her, she has been working in Africa and now in Indonesia - long phone calls haven't been possible for almost three years). Her boyfriend Haali was able to get a VISA from Gambia to come to the US, and now he is attending MVCC and succeeding in all his classes (as I always knew he would, he is a pretty amazing guy). **Note to Mom and Dad - please call the Heffrons and maybe invite Haali out to dinner or something, he is such an interesting man and I am sure that you would love him (plus its always nice when you can make indigenous friends in a foreign country - I know from experience :-) Their phone number is listed under "Howard Heffron" on Claridge Ct.

Why I want to defenestrate myself today

5. Students sometimes have a very hard time thinking for themselves, at least on the middle school level. Now don't get me wrong, there are many students who are really intelligent and can think for themselves. But then there are the students who, when I explain that they have to get into 8 groups WITH a japanese translation, look at me like I have three heads. This isn't just Japanese students: I think that all students are too dependent on their teachers to make their decisions for them. It's so frustrating because the easiest task (splitting into 8 groups) takes ten minutes and becomes a huge, chaotic mess.

4. I am learning as I go. Which means I fail. Often. Now this is fine in English research - you go in a certain direction, realize that it is faulty, and find another way to approach the material. But when you fail in front of a class, you have a bunch of students and your teacher looking at you like you should know what you are doing. Which you don't. Kinda embarassing.

3. My school provides like no materials. So even when I do think of a good plan, I have a hard time carrying it out because I don't have what I need to do so.

2. I want to KILL the students who put their head down in class and, even when you pat them on the back and ask them to sit up, will just mutter "Pardon" or "I no English" out of the corner of their mouth. Or the students who just look at you dumbly when you call on them, without even a sign of recognition that you are a person talking to them and not a dog yapping at them.

1. Students don't listen to my English explanation, look at me blankly for three minutes saying "wakarunai" (I don't understand) and wait for my JTE to explain in Japanese. For every activity.

So yeah, students irritate me right now. A lot.

That said, some of them are great. There's a student who, in my last class, came up to me after class and asked if I liked Star Wars. When I said I did, she asked "Who is your favorite character?" When I said Princess Leia, she said "kawaiiiii" (cute!) and giggled. It was adorable. So I don't dislike all students, just most of them ;-)

Painting the Machi red

Well it has been a crazy week, which is why I haven't written since last Sunday. However, now I have some lazy time to waste since Gary doesn't get up until late cause my Bella keeps him up all night. So, here's a recap of my life in a nutshell.

Sunday: Wallowing. Family Guy. Mini muffins. Missing you know who.

Monday: Was it jet lag that made me wake up at 5 in the morning, or a sudden spurt of energetic discipline? Yeah, it was the jet lag. I woke up early, but suprisingly did not do anything but watch Family Guy (which I was not sick of yet, suprisingly). Then comes school. Now for those fans of my blog (hi mom) you will remember that I was under the impression that I would have no work to do, because that was the situation which my predecessors faced. But somehow something changed since them, because I have so much work to do at school! I plan for about fifteen classes a week, and make all my own materials (Minami Chu doesn't even provide pens, welcome to Japan). Plus I had a speech contest (more on this later) in Misato Machi, for which three Minami students were preparing speeches in English, so I was helping them write, edit and practice their speeches all week. For dinner, I went to the chinese restaurant - which was DELICIOUS and cheap - and had a savory vegetable dish (although I have no idea what it was, the menu was - suprise - in Japanese) and a nice large glass of Asahi beer. Now I'm not sure if the beer helped me or not, but when I got home that night I went immediately to bed - do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars kind of going to bed. I was completely passed out from 8-6. I haven't gone to bed that early since I was five.

Tuesday: School, and then language lessons in Maebashi with Shizumi-sensei. Every Tuesday we meet at the kencho (the prefectural government building, and the tallest building in Maebashi, so if you get lost you just look for the kencho in the sky) and rush through Japanese vocabulary at the speed of light. Now if I spent more time studying Japanese, these classes would be a lot more helpful - I was planning on doing most of my studying at school, but that hasn't happened. So alas, I will have to settle down and designate some time as study time. All play and no work makes Debbie a happy but ignorant girl. After language lessons, my teacher organized an outing to the Garlic restaurant, a place where - can you guess? - everything is made with garlic. I had water, as the food looked delicious but cost a bit more than I could afford. However, the company was great - Kate, Abi, Hayley, all the usual suspects - and I even was gifted with a few slices of "happy" pizza, according to the menu. It had salmon, tuna, garlic and mushrooms (plus even more ingredients that I don't remember). Not exactly typical American fare, but delicious never the less.

Wednesday: If you don't want some personal Debbie details thrust in your face, skip to Thursday. If you want a hilarious yet embarassing story, read on. So on Wednesday morning I realized I had a bladder infection - believe me, I have a reason for telling this - and decided to talk to the school nurse, who speaks a bit of English. So I tell the school nurse, and the first thing she says is, "oh, you have a boku en (Japanese for bladder infection), I must tell kyoto sensei." Kyoto sensei is my vice principal, a rather mean looking man - notice I said MAN. I wanted him to know as much as I wanted to shout it out to the staff room. But she insisted, and Japanese people don't take no. So she tells kyoto sensei, and then tries to call my supervisor, Negishi-san, to have her make an appointment. Well, Negishi-san got confused about what she was asking, the nurse got confused about what I was asking, and I got confused about what was going on. So finally the nurse is like, "I need to tell the English teacher. She will translate for you." So fast forward to me, Satchko (my favorite English teacher), the nurse, and Negishi-san on the phone, all in the nurse's office trying to figure out where the heck I should go. So finally we decide on an office, but wait - the doctor doesn't speak Japanese! I call the most wonderful person in the world, Tomomi, and, embarassed as anything, ask her to come with me to the doctor's office, which she generously offers to do. So there we are, in the doctor's office, where Tomomi has to translate all the doctor's VERY PERSONAL questions to me. We tried to keep straight faces, but we ended up cracking up for most of the appointment. I mean, would you want to ask your friend where it itched? Yeah, neither would we. So finally, the appointment ended. The humiliation ended. I had some privacy again.

But wait! The next day, as I walked through the halls, every English teacher stopped me and asked me if I was ok while patting their crotches. And not only the female English teachers! I think even the judo teacher knew about Debbie-sensei's boku en. It's nice to see that I am of interest to someone.

Sidenote: last night I went to an enkai (office party) with the board of education members, and two women came up to me, asked "daijobu" (are you ok?) and patted their crotches. I now officially have no pride.

Well this is a long entry, so I will finish my recap later. Hope you enjoyed my minor humiliations :-)