The yakuza and me, Part 1

Now many of you watch the Sopranos and the Godfather series, and there are some of you who think you're pretty knowledgeable about the dark side of life. But I'm here to tell you - you ain't heard nothing yet.

I'll begin my story by opening up on a small town, located in a mountainous, mostly rural prefecture called Gunma. There are telephone poles everywhere, and the obligatory 24-hour laundromat that symbolizes real progress is right down the street, but walk just three minutes away from the main street and you see rows and rows of rice fields and old, dilapidated huts with rusted tan siding and signs that were probably quite readable fifty years ago. Its a quiet town, a lovely town with a pretty park and a large lake (Munadaka lake) where children play and feed swimming ducks. A town where nothing can happen.

Or, perhaps, a town where everything (and then some) can happen. Turns out that this lovely little town I inhabit is quite popular with the yakuza, the Japanese mob. What is yakuza, you ask? Certainly they can't be as dangerous as Marlon Brando? or Robert DeNiro? Well guess again. The yakuza is the largest criminal organization in the world, and here are some interesting facts about them (taken from wikipedia and garnished by my overactive imagination)...

-Unlike the Italian mob back home, the Yakuza isn't so family-oriented...you don't "marry into the mob," so to speak. Once you enter into the yakuza, you completely cut off contact with your family, and the yakuza members become your family. There are no women in the yakuza (except the oyabun(boss)'s wife).

-If you ask any of my ALT counterparts, they will tell that you the one definitely distinguishing part of being a yakuza - you are tattoed all over your body. If you betray your boss or your yakuza family, a common punishment is cutting off a pinky. And no, someone doesn't do it for you. You have to do it yourself. However, if a person isn't naked or holding out their hands for you to inspect, an easy well to tell yakuza is by looking at their clothes - they are usually dressed in very flashy suits and scarves. When I went to kabuki, two yakuza sat directly across from me - they both had ultra-gelled hair, earrings, silver cell phones, and the poshest suits that you ever did see.

-Yakuza members like to ride their motorcyles in the streets very late at night. Very loudly. Very obnoxiously. I always appreciate it.

Next entry I'll let you know just how close I am to the yakuza (and its closer than you would expect)...

Unfortunately its not a suprise :-)

I just received my first rejection - from Cornell. I am suprisingly not unhappy. For some reason, Cornell's program just wasn't doing it for me. Just wait until I don't get into Michigan or Rutgers, though - then you will hear the tears :-)

Do you ever have so much to say that paradoxically you forget how to say it?

I do, and that's why my blogs have become little more than monthly/weekly updates. I promise I will try harder. Not this entry though. I have my fun class coming up in ten minutes - its with what the Japanese schools call "special children," even though it only includes about two disabled students (the rest are lumped in with the other students because their parents refuse to admit they have a disability). Its the only class that I get to do fun games and songs with - my other students are way "too cool."

Talk (well, write) to you soon.

My first acceptance!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Debra,

I don't believe we've met, and given that you are in Japan it will be a while before we do. But I wanted to write and let you know that the Graduate Admissions committee in the English Department at UB voted today to admit you to our PhD program as a TA beginning fall 06.

Everyone on the 10-person committee was extremely enthusiastic about your candidacy, your profile, and your work. Mark Shechner, Bruce Jackson, and David Schmid all wrote you glowing, compelling recommendations. I found fascinating your proposed doctoral research project, and I very much liked your engagement with disability theory in the writing sample on Carson McCullers.(I have become increasingly interested in disability theory myself, and even have contemplated offering a graduate seminar in it, as a way to help educate myself about this very vital field; in my Queer Theory seminar I teach some disability theory, but I need to learn more.)I definitely look forward to future conversations with you on this and other topics, and I know that David Schmid is very excited at the prospect of working with you again too.

This is just an informal message to let you know that you're in. A formal message confirming admission will come directly from the Graduate School in due course. That will be followed by a formal offer of admission and the TA contract from the English Department. One question I have for you is: to what address would you like us to mail the documents that will require your signature? (I spoke this afternoon with Gary Huber, who I gather is acting as your mediator or spokesperson while you're in Japan; he may have conveyed the good news to you already.)

It will be a couple weeks before I know exactly the financial package we have available to offer you; I will be back in touch once I have hard figures, but I wanted to let you know the good news as soon as the decisions were final. I hope you have some good sake on hand with which to celebrate!

With best wishes,
TD

Tim Dean
Associate Professor of English
Director of Graduate Admissions and Fellowships
University at Buffalo (SUNY)

I'm sick as a Japanese poodle

Ok, all, so no long entry tonight, I have been out of work all week with bronchitis and an abdominal infection and a cold in my eye (of all things!). So nothing interesting has happened except for the following tidbits:

10. On the superficial.com, there was a video of David Hasselhoff in which he looked eerily eerily eerily like Adam, a guy I used to date.
9. Ossian burnt me My So Called Life, and I was able to get a glimpse of how stupid flannel shirts really looked back in the day.
8. I remembered exactly why I fell in love with Jared Leto - and why he is the worst actor alive.
7. I drank hot chocolate with actual mini-marshmallows.
6. Kate and I found rice cakes at the international supermarket, and I was in heaven.
5. I went to my first session at my second teaching job, and yup, its just as boring as I thought it would be. And just as well paying.
4. I am taking fourteen pills a day, and in typical Japanese fashion, they all look the same.
3. I almost crashed into a telephone pole driving to the conbini with an infected eye.
2. Hayley was wonderful enough to get me some gas for my heater so that I wouldn't have to drive again while impaired.
1. I have started Tess of the D'Ubervilles because I need a good laugh. Thomas Hardy is always a real scream.